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Riflessioni sul Perdono, sulla Dignità e sulla Riconciliazione

Robert Plath

1. I negoziati di pace, generalmente, sono incentrati sulle dimensioni politica ed economica. Quale è la Sua percezione della necessità di toccare aspetti più profondi e genuini della riconciliazione e come si può ottenere questo?

I believe that any starting point that begins communication is valid and tremendously important beyond war. Just get them talking, even if they are shouting and furious. Just talk: human-to-human. This is the first step.
Any entry point is remembering that we all have families we love. Friends. Partners. Colleagues. These are aspects of all of our lives were we connect and can understand each other. From here, we can continue to evolve and go into the deeper aspects such as borders, regions, and the history of the peoples of that area, race memories – as in, for example, the case of Rwanda. However, the fact that a discussion is taking place at all is the first step in the process of forgiveness.
From there, we need to recognize both sides? unmet needs and feelings and what all participants really are intending from the process. The more we can focus on our mutual needs and feelings? met and unmet? the more we can recognize and act upon meeting those needs. The chance of succeeding in the peace process is much higher when we satisfy those basic yearnings. These steps require truly listening and understanding. And they also require the willingness to give up? being right? or establishing positions beyond which we will not move.

2. Quali sono le condizioni nelle quali, al di là dell’assicurare gli interessi della parti in conflitto, può essere stabilito un processo incentrato su un senso di equità e dignità?

The conditions in which to center on fairness and dignity can be established through an intention to use compassionate communication whenever possible. Marshall Rosenberg? s contribution to resolution through listening, empathy and understanding has proven to be a miraculous way to respect and help heal peoples? pain.
There must also be willingness? no matter how small? to be openhearted and open to understanding and developing forgiveness as the peace process unfolds.
And the most important part is that the individuals involved in the peace process, thoroughly look at their own prejudices that could be blocking their ability to see other sides of complex issues.
With the intention to cleanse whatever bias or prejudices may be blocking an individual? s ability to see the other side promotes all participants as equal in rights and possibilities and beauty.
To recognize one? s own biases requires, at most, an open-hearted approach or, at least, establishing rules which bring forth requirements from each participant to bring the possibility of the peace process to its highest potential. It, therefore, requires a certain amount of going within – both with oneself and with others – in the peace team in order to converse and eliminate obstacles to fairness.
What is more dignified and fair than recognizing your own biases and taking responsibility for them?

3. Quanto il perdono è essenziale alla dimensione della riconciliazione? Alla radice della Sua cultura politica e/o della Sua fede religiosa quali sono i principi che implicano o escludono il perdono? Quali versi o detti che fanno parte del Suo personale patrimonio spirituale possono, nella sua opinione, avere un significato universale

Forgiveness is an essential dimension of reconciliation because without forgiveness, the climate for peace will be constantly undermined, as Archbishop Tutu stated,? Without forgiveness, there is no future.?
At the root of my Christian faith, one of the principles that excluded forgiveness was the Old Testament rule of? an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a life for a life.?
But Christ had many stories founded on forgiveness. For instance, one of his Disciples asked Jesus? How many times should we forgive Lord? Four times?? And Christ said,? No, forgive 7 times 70 and do not just forgive your friends but your enemies as well.?
Also, the story of the prodigal son where the son arrogantly leaves home to create his own destiny and, through his journeys, dissipates his father? s inheritance until he ends up broke and begging and is forced to eat with the swine in a farmyard. He finally realizes the importance of his father? s love and support and, humbled, he goes back home feeling disgraced and shattered. His father upon seeing him cries out? My son has returned. He? s back. He? s alive.? With that his father kills the fatted calf and has a feast in honor of his son? s return, to the consternation of his other son. At this time, the angry son says,? He left you. I didn? t. And now you joyfully welcome him back!?
? I have you always with me. However, we had lost your brother. Now, we have found him again.?
Meaning, we can get lost; however, we can always come back to the Father, Mother, God.
This is truly a story of deep forgiveness, not only on the part of the father but on the part of the son who comes to contrition has he humbly begs to be restored to the family.
Of course, this gives the other son and equal opportunity to follow his father? s lead and welcome his long-lost brother home.
Another story is the one in which Christ faces men who wish to stone a prostitute. The men ask,? What should we do Lord, she? s been committing sin which calls for stoning by the religious law??
Christ, thinking carefully, draws a line in the dirt and says,? Let whoever is without sin cast the first stone.? And with that, the men sheepishly realize none of them is without sin and begin to drop away until they? ve all gone.
Christ then faces the prostitute and tells her he forgives her and to go her way unashamed.
And, again, Christ, on the cross, when he is being murdered by the mob, calls out to his Father,? Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.?
Anyone who is not loving and compassionate is acting from an unconscious and, therefore, painful state. And that, also, requires forgiveness.
He then, as the story continues, Christ forgives the bad thief and the good thief, seeing them with equal love, and passes from this life.
Often, when He healed various people, Christ would say,? Your sins are forgiven. Rise and walk.? And that very act of forgiveness so powerfully given would be totally healing, even to the point of Lazarus rising from the dead.

4. Il perdono richiede qualche forma di pentimento da parte di coloro a cui il perdono viene offerto? Il perdono ha condizioni o è senza condizioni?

I do not believe forgiveness requires some form of repentance on the side of those to whom forgiveness is offered.
Although the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa did require those that were seeking freedom from incarceration, to admit they had done wrong. However, we have found, in the Forgiveness Alliance, many instances where the individuals we were dealing with were able to forgive parents or children or family members or friends or enemies, some of whom were deceased, without having the perpetrators do any acts of repentance.
In other words, we developed processes that enabled the so-called victims to process their feelings, which, in turn, allowed them to come back to forgiveness and peace in their own hearts.
Finally, we at the Forgiveness Alliance have found that acts of apology, sorrow and/or repentance usually make it easier for the victim to come to forgiveness. They feel understood and honoured and respected and loved.
This, very often increases how quickly they were able to forgive.

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